God Is Moving Me

December 16, 2011 followingjesus4life

When I say that God is moving me, I mean it both literally and figuratively.  I’m amazed at what God is doing in my life right now.  The grace I’m receiving.  The blessings He has given me.  And literally, He is telling me that Florida is not where I belong anymore.

Let me back up a little.  I gave my testimony to the youth at church.  I’ve gotten all positive feedback.  Several students have come up to me and told me what a great job I did.  Many have contacted me.  I’ve also had pastors and youth leaders tell me how great I did as well.  I’m glad that I could touch the lives of others with what I had to say.  Or, what I have to say…and will continue saying.  Being able to make a difference in people’s lives by either just praying for them or bringing them into the walks of God and getting to know Him personally is so rewarding.  Although I’m not proud of what I’ve gone through with my eating disorder, self-injury, depression/bipolar, and suicidal thoughts, I’m glad that it can at least benefit someone else in a positive manner.

The semester is officially over and I passed!  This was no small feat, let me tell you!  I believe in both classes I received a B, which has God’s grace written all over that!!!  I had the two best interpreters in the world all semester.  I owe a lot of my grade to them because without them I wouldn’t have understood a thing.  Their skills and abilities are mind-blowing.  I’m truly going to miss having them interpret for me.

When I say that God is literally moving me, I mean it.  This is the first official announcement I’ve made…so here it is.  I am moving back home to Illinois.  My time here in Florida is over.  I’ve learned all the skills that I believe I can learn here, and now it’s time to go back home to my family and apply them.

I’ve been out of psychiatric hospitals since September of 2009.  That is a major accomplishment considering I was a frequent flyer, averaging every six months back in the hospital for medicine adjustments, suicidal behavior, or my bipolar acting up.  I’ve been stable and in recovery with very minor slips for three, almost four, years.  I’ve definitely learned how to form boundaries…and keep them.  I’ve learned how to use my coping skills before resorting to past behaviors.  I’m stable on my medications, and am even decreasing some of them.  I went back to school for an entire semester and passed, something that I haven’t even attempted since 2007.  I haven’t been completely dependent on my mom for everything, being able to pay my own rent, buy my own food, and making sure I have a way to get all of my medications.

I really miss my family.  And by this I don’t mean I really miss my mom giving me all my money and not having to work for it.  I have a seven-and-a-half year old sister whose life I’m completely missing out on.  It’s like she doesn’t even know me as an older sister because I’ve been gone since she was five, only popping in and out of her life twice a year.  I miss hanging out with my younger cousins and going to family get togethers.  I really have started feeling alone here in Florida, not having that network of family.

I talked to a friend today and it really is amazing how God works.  She’s working on getting a house together for women who are just leaving rehab.  It will be a Christian-based home to learn how to enter back into life and stay out of whatever addiction they were in before.  While talking to her she said that God really does put things in order, and I completely understood when she further explained why.  While planning out recovery models and everything that they will need to get this house up and running, it was discovered that no one really knew much about self-injury.  No one in this team of people working on the project had experienced it first-hand, had no idea how to recover, why people do it, etc.  Well, who else would know better than someone who dealt with it for years?  She offered up the opportunity to join her on this project, to lend my knowledge to help women in this situation get better.  I couldn’t help but say yes!  Once I’m officially relocated to Illinois I’ll join up with her and get things rolling to hopefully help get this recovery home started!

There’s a college in Chicago that has an excellent sign language interpreting program, and I really hope to start going there in the fall.  I will be looking for apartments and someone I know, who is also in the interpreting program at Columbia, is interesting in sharing an apartment with me close to the school.  How excellent is that?  I’ll just have to be patient until God is ready to provide.

My mom has said that I can live with her until I find housing, and luckily I’ll continue to get social security payments when I move there.  I’ve got my eye on a car, which I can afford, and I’m praying about the co-signer part of that.  (I’m not going to go into detail because it’s a long story.)

As for the actual move up there…I’m not looking forward to that.  I have no idea how I just packed my life into two suitcases and just moved to Florida.  How I’m going to get everything back up to Illinois seems impossible.  I know it’s not, because God will provide.

Please keep me in your prayers during the next two or three months while all of this happens.  It’s going to be busy, but I know God can do it!!!

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One Comment Add your own

  • 1. Shawn Estoque  |  December 19, 2011 at 8:07 am

    God can do it, and so can YOU!! This is exciting!! We look forward to seeing you again, and hopefully a little more often!!! 😉


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