Ugh? Depression?

November 16, 2011 followingjesus4life






My roommate asked me the other day if I was going through a depressed phase.  My immediate reaction was to say no.  She then asked if I was sure, and I said yes…I don’t know.  Why would I admit that yet again my bipolar is getting the best of me?  It’s a constant circle that never ends.

Maybe it’s not depression after all.  I’m super stressed about school.  I have a speech tomorrow that I’ve completely procrastinated on and haven’t even started.  I have a government quiz due tomorrow, and a test next week.  (I NEVER do well on the tests.)  Coming up at the beginning of next month I also have a speech test.  The end of the semester is coming up.

My dad’s in the hospital.  I guess it doesn’t completely affect me considering he’s all the way up in Illinois.  I can’t change what’s going on.  He won’t talk to me, and if he doesn’t want to change, I can’t fix his situation in any form.

I visit home over New Year’s.  I think any trip up to Illinois is stressful for me.

I’ve been incredibly tired no matter how much I sleep.  I can’t seem to ever feel “okay.”  I’m exhausted and always feel the need to nap.

I’m really asking God what He wants me to do about school.  I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do with my major.  Where am I supposed to go with it?  I’m very stuck.

I deny I’m in a depressive state because it always starts with mania, and I didn’t have my week of mania.  (At least I don’t think.)  I can’t be depressed for my birthday.  At the same time, I really don’t have a high level of caring right now.

















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